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The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent has had it happen to them; you're in hurry to get out the door, but your young child is making you late by searching for his favorite teddy bear. Or your 7 month old will not stop fussing in her room because her pacifier is no where to be found. As parents you know how frustrating a comfort object can be in life. However, to a toddler the lack of his tattered and worn out blanket is what seems debilitating. Really, security items are just what they sound like, and are a healthy, necessary part of childhood.

By the time most children reach 1 year, they have already established a comfort item that is kept right by them constantly. In children younger than one, the child's own thumb or even a binkie will typically work rather well to settle and relieve them when necessary. As your little one grows into a toddler, they'll often look for something more physically satisfying such as the aforementioned teddy or blanket. Many people that the soft texture of such toys is in part responsible for the warm effect they've got on young children. A toddler will usually rub a blanket on their arm or face or stroke a teddy to soothe themselves.

Another comfort feature a toddler can discover with comfort items is the association they make with you as parents. Rubbing the material of the blankie on your child's cheek could remind her or him of your clothing when rocked or embraced by you. Or possibly the blankie was always part of the sleep or naptime routine you and your child have created. Again, the association of you comforting your toddler or making him feel protected is what prompts the attachment to these comfort toys. On occasion a young child makes a comfort item out of unusual possessions. It could be anything from a hard block to a sock. While this attachment is not as recognizable, there is no doubt some emotional attachment the child has made to find comfort or security from the item.

However inconvenient it is to handle your child's constant urgency for their lovey, it is essential to consider that this part of childhood is both healthy and essential. The world is a terrifying place to little kids, especially as they reach their first birthday. It is during these early years that a child will start to suffer from separation anxiety since they are more likely to find themselves separated from you resulting from nursery school, daycare, or even by their own choice as they are physically able to explore their world. With a comfort object, your child is finding a way to self-soothe when you are not there and as they magnify their independence. Think of it as a temporary crutch to help them get through this turning point in their lives.

It isn't until your child turns 3 or 4 that she or he will begin to handle their own emotions and feelings and no longer need to rely on comfort objects for soothing and security, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It is at this same age that dragging around a battered blankie may seem less acceptable among their peers. Who knew social pressure started at such a young age? At any rate, it's probably better for you the parent to appreciate this phase of your child's development as the experience that it is. When you do so you will only nurture their emotional developement. something that is certainly worth temporary frustration.